When consciousness finally fluttered close enough to grab hold of, Eyara’s eyes opened long enough to recognize that she had, against all odds, somehow evaded death one more time. The warm, sand-colored ceiling, the hint of an arched doorframe nearby, the soft geometry of Bajoran architecture soothed her, and she took a short, shuddering breath. The expansion of her chest caught strangely, as though something were stopping her from inhaling deeply, and a shiver of fear prickled across her skin. This time she tried to move, to lift a hand, but the soft buzz of an activated force field interrupted the motion, keeping her pinned on her back, unable to even rock her head to one side or another. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The memory of the explosion, as muddled as it was, came back in a rush, and later she would recall, to her shame, that her first thought was not of her compatriots, but a sharp, sudden horror at the state her own broken body must be in. She couldn’t move or even look down to confirm the presence of her own limbs, and a pulse of pain hit her somewhere in her middle, a flash of memory of the crushing stone column as it fell and trapped her. They’d failed. She’d failed. The Cardassians had found them– Eyara croaked out a dry groan, testing her voice, anxious to know where she was, where the others were. Where was everyone? Why had noone noticed she was awake? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Hello?” she tried to call, but the word came out a hoarse whisper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As reality came more into focus she was aware of the quiet beeps and hums of technology around her. Kept in place as she was, she could only strain to take in her surroundings by eye movement and could see screens all around her, showing medical readouts — in Cardassian.
After a moment, she heard a door hiss open to her left, and the sharp tap of footsteps entered the room.
\u201cI see our patient is finally awake,\u201d a feminine but monotone voice said. The footsteps neared the bed, and a Cardassian woman with elaborate braids atop her head came into Eyara\u2019s sliver of perception. The woman was made up with dark lips and bluish accents on her neck ridges and wearing a medical uniform. Before Eyara could say anything, she leaned over the Bajoran\u2019s immobilized body and shone a bright light in one eye, gently holding her eyelid open. \u201cAren\u2019t you a little miracle.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If Eyara had been able to move more than the muscles of her face, she might have fallen off the biobed. Every instinct in her screamed to scramble away, to run, to get to safety. She hadn\u2019t survived, she was in a hellish vision inflicted upon her by the pah-wraiths. She was dead, and being punished for all the things she and her family had done and failed to do. But though she yearned to wither away, to return to unconsciousness, all she could do was faintly flinch, as those too-cold reptilian fingertips made contact with her skin. \u201dWhere am I?\u201d she rasped, the edge of panic in her eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKandor province,\u201d the Cardassian woman replied easily, gaze focused unnervingly directly into Eyara\u2019s eye which protested and watered in response to the bright light. The Cardassian stepped away, out of Eyara\u2019s frame of vision. The tap of her heels in the hollow room was unnerving. \u201cYou really should be dead. It\u2019s only Cardassian scientific ingenuity that saved you. What is your pain level?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kandor Province. <\/em>Then she was<\/em> still on Bajor. How had she gotten here<\/em>? The mission had been on the near opposite side of the planet\u2014 why had the Cardassians not simply left her there to die? Did they want to extract information from her? Why would they think she was important enough to interrogate? A flash of fear shook her. They\u2019d never get her sister\u2019s name from her if that\u2019s what they were after. \u201cWhere is the rest of my team?\u201d she asked, ignoring the woman\u2019s question, though she began to notice and process the deep, throbbing ache in her guts more keenly as attention was drawn to it. All of the color drained from Eyara\u2019s freckled face as the woman tossed those first three words so flippantly. She had barely begun to process them, when the next ones hit their mark, and she sucked in a short, sharp breath. Her parents.<\/em> She hadn\u2019t seen them in almost five years. Not since Ruuk had turned her in \u2013and let her escape. Elke had, blessedly, avoided being found out, and had stayed in contact as much as was possible and safe. So Eyara knew that their parents had brushed her \u2018betrayal\u2019 and disappearance under the rug. She knew that they\u2019d publicly denounced the Resistance, claiming that terrorists had brainwashed and kidnapped their daughter. She knew they\u2019d later had the rumor spread that she had been killed, to explain their inability to bring her home. Easy lies. All to save face with the Cardassians, to avoid losing the status they felt they deserved by virtue of their innate superiority. The d\u2019jarras might be a relic of the past, but those they had favored still commonly clung to them. The Cardassian woman gave a vaguely irritated sigh at her question continuing to be ignored. She appeared in Eyara\u2019s vision, focused on a scanning device that she waved over Eyara\u2019s middle. \u201cThat is something you\u2019ll have to talk to them about,\u201d the doctor said with disinterest. \u201cBut they certainly called in some big favors to get you extracted and fixed up. We had to replace your liver, kidneys and part of your large intestine. Not to mention the repairs to your skeletal structure.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cReplace?\u201d Eyara echoed with surprise, straining to look down, though the forcefields kept her firmly in place. She shoved thoughts of her parents to the side, the swirl of emotion painful to touch and useless to linger on, when there were more pressing concerns. Such as assessing and surviving her current situation. Even if her team was dead, Elke was still out there, depending on her to keep it together and keep her mouth shut. Besides, it would be foolish to take anything the Cardassian said at face value. \u201cReplaced with what?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, at the moment your liver is holographic, hence the force fields. Holo-organs are efficient but mobility is still an issue. But I\u2019m sure you know that as a medic.\u201d The woman went on easily, casually passing over the hint that she knew more about Eyara\u2019s existence than the Resistance fighter would have liked. \u201cYour kidneys and intestines are state-of-the-art Cardassian technologies. And you\u2019re scheduled for surgery for the installation of the liver tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n For a long beat, Eyara said nothing, taking in, processing this information with a kind of horror\u2013 a shameful mix of awe and curiosity and disgust. While she\u2019d been unconscious, while others from her cell had been blown apart or murdered, she\u2019d been lying in some evac ship, with Cardassian technology keeping her corpse alive, Cardassian hands holding her guts in, Cardassian doctors indulging their medical curiosities upon her body. She shuddered at the invasiveness of it all, and imagined she could still feel those cold fingertips rifling through the cavity of her abdomen, pulling out what couldn\u2019t be repaired. She felt sick. She bit her tongue for the distracting pain of it, trying to ground herself enough to keep down the bile she felt at the back of her throat. \u201cSeems like a lot of valuable tech to waste on a Bajoran,\u201d she finally hissed through clenched teeth. \u201cEven for a collaborator\u2019s kid. Why did Central Command agree to this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n There was a beat of silence. Then, as casually as before, \u201cSome of this technology is still in its experimental phase. I\u2019m Doctor Kareesa Nolar. I designed most of the equipment keeping you alive.\u201d Pride.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ah, so that was it. She was a convenient test subject. This tech was probably too new to allow testing on Cardassian citizens, but Bajoran bodies were a convenient way to push medical progress ahead more quickly. Even taking into account the muddy ethics of it all, her injuries must have been extensive enough that it was this, or death. She wasn\u2019t sure what she would have chosen if she\u2019d been offered the choice. But it didn\u2019t matter now. Her parents and the Cardassians had made it for her. The only comfort she could find in the moment was knowing that at least Elke wouldn\u2019t have to grieve her. \u201cYou\u2019ll survive,\u201d the doctor assured her with confidence. There were quiet, familiar sounds of puttering with medical equipment. Changing cartridges, entering in data. \u201cIt may be a few weeks you\u2019ll have to stay with us for observation but then you\u2019ll be released into your parents care. I do apologize for the restraining fields. I\u2019m sure it\u2019s quite uncomfortable. As soon as your new liver is installed you\u2019ll be able to move freely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara considered this with quiet surprise, then suspicion. Even if the Cardassians were willing to let valuable experimental technology walk free out of this hospital, Eyara had little doubt that there would be supervision, check-ins, monitoring while in her parents\u2019 \u201ccare\u201d. Something like this was not a gift, and certainly not one without strings attached. \u201cI don\u2019t suppose I have a choice in that. Going with them.\u201d What would they even do with her? Keep her hidden? Announce her miraculous recovery? Make her into some kind of cautionary tale about the evils of the Resistance? Find another Cardassian general who didn\u2019t mind her cloudy past and her damaged body, some old man who would get a thrill out of breaking a stubborn animal like her?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt would really be best for you to have family keeping an eye on you for a while after all the procedures,\u201d Nolar said, her conciliatory tone like the mimicry of a bird in Eyara\u2019s ears. \u201cThere will of course need to be follow up visits to ensure that the technology is functioning as expected.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOf course,\u201d Eyara echoed, cheerlessly smug to have been right. If half her internal organs belonged to the Cardassians, then even being released into her parents\u2019 care didn\u2019t mean she was free. If she ran, they\u2019d come after her\u2013 after their investment. For all she knew, there was some method of tracking her built right into the prosthetics themselves. Even if she escaped, she couldn\u2019t risk going back to her cell. \u201cThank you,\u201d the doctor said with surprising sincerity. \u201cI\u2019m sorry that\u2019s so high. I\u2019ll adjust your medications right away. We have no intention of keeping you in discomfort.\u201d There was the sound of rummaging through a drawer and a packet being opened. Nolar appeared over her again. \u201cOpen your mouth, please.\u201d She held up a small tablet in Eyara\u2019s vision. \u201cThis will help with the thirst. Don\u2019t swallow it, just allow it to melt on your tongue. It will be a few days until you\u2019ll be ready for anything other than intravenous nutrients. We were barely able to save your stomach and it didn\u2019t go unharmed. You\u2019ll most likely notice discomfort when you start eating again and will need to start with small meals.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara briefly considered the possibility that the tablet was poisoned, but she couldn’t think of a good reason why they would go through all this trouble just to kill her in such a way. So, though she hesitated, she did as was requested and let the hydration capsule dissolve on her tongue. Thankfully, she had no appetite or desire to eat at the moment, so this news caused little disappointment. At least there was one organ that still belonged to her, diminished though it might be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI’m tired,\u201d she said, once her mouth was clear and her thirst eased. She didn’t feel poisoned, just exhausted. The pain was making itself known, now that the initial shock of her situation was wearing off and she just wanted to be alone before the tears came. \u201cLet me sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cVery well,\u201d came the unconcerned reply. \u201cThe nurse will be in to check on you every 45 minutes. It\u2019s only routine.\u201d The door hissed open, the heels clicked out and it slid back into place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maybe Eyara was alone or maybe they had monitors in the next room over and were watching her at every minute. But when the doctor had gone, and she could feel no eyes on her directly, the enormity of the situation slammed into her like a concrete wall. She could do nothing to stop it, not even lift a hand to wipe away the helpless tears as they gathered and fell, tickling her freckled cheeks. She knew she should stay hopeful\u2013 she was alive and that meant she could keep fighting, in whatever way she was able. But all she could do now was lay there, trapped on a Cardassian biobed, in a stolen Bajoran hospital, the names and faces of her team repeating over and over until she drifted into the restless, but welcome oblivion of sleep. <\/p>\n\n\n\n ~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n Time passed in a haze of medication to control Eyara\u2019s pain. She slept soundly for the most part, hardly aware of the regular movement in the room around her as the Cardassian staff monitored her status. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The next day came and Dr. Nolar reappeared with a small group of staff. \u201cGood morning,\u201d she said as she showed up in Eyara\u2019s frame of vision. \u201cToday will be a good day. After this procedure you’ll be free of the force fields and by the end of the week you should be able to sit in a hover chair.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLiver, right? How long will it take?\u201d Eyara asked, trying not to seem too <\/em>interested, lest that curiosity be somehow used against her later. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cA few hours at least,\u201d Dr. Nolar replied while her staff busied themselves unhooking Eyara from various machines. \u201cYou may be sore and tired for a few days while your body adjusts to the prosthetic. Tell me something, Miss Lanak, if you would. How competent are you as a medic?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara\u2019s first instinct was to bristle at the question\u2013 why needle her now about her inadequacies? Of course most of her training was unofficial, gained in the field, necessity and repetition, trial and error, and other harried, exhausted medics as her mentors. Don\u2019t think about her right now, Eyara. Don\u2019t let the Cardassian see you vulnerable. <\/em>She took a breath and raised a brow in a casual expression that might have paired with a shrug had Eyara been able to move her shoulders. \u201cThat\u2019s good,\u201d Dr. Nolar said with a tinge of enthusiasm. \u201cOnce you\u2019ve recovered from this surgery I intend to educate you about the technologies. Your experience and knowledge will lend an additional layer of expertise to developing these prosthetics. The level of technology rivals even that of Federation medicine. You may be instrumental in furthering the field of organ transplantation.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Suspicion held Eyara\u2019s tongue from immediately replying. It was plain that Nolar was trying to appeal to her pride, but what she was offering was <\/em>what Eyara wanted. If she had to be stuffed full of Cardassian tech, then she was damn well going to make sure she knew how it worked. \u201cAlright,\u201d she finally answered. \u201cIf I\u2019m going to be stuck in a biobed for the next few days, I might as well have reading material to keep myself busy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSplendid,\u201d Nolar said. \u201cI\u2019ll make the documentation available to you whenever you\u2019re feeling recovered enough to review it. Looks like we\u2019re ready to go.\u201d Dr. Nolar leaned over her, masked and gloved. \u201cWe\u2019ll see you in a few hours. You\u2019ll be better than new in no time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDon\u2019t fuck it up,\u201d Eyara demanded, straight-faced, just before the hypospray was pressed against her throat. Nolar gave a quiet, bemused laugh and a nod before Eyara faded into unconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n True to her word, when Eyara woke from surgery, Nolar already had a hands-free screen installed on a swing arm at her bedside, providing access to information about the prosthetics with which she had been fitted. Over the next few days, Eyara read voraciously whenever she was awake, slowly transitioning from the reclined biobed to spending some of her time sitting upright, still with the assistance of forefields from her chest downward, but finally able to use her hands and arms, head and neck free to look about her environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n By the fifth day, Eyara had made it through most of the reading material and was feeling significantly better. Her color had improved from pale and sallow to its normal freckled brown. The ache in her middle had dulled and was almost entirely controlled with some mild medications. In the morning, a pair of Cardassian nurses helped Eyara move to a hoverchair which locked her into place with fields from the chest down. It was somewhat awkward and her back protested to the stiffness but it was a relief to be able to guide the chair to the window and look out from the third story view over well manicured grounds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That afternoon, Doctor Nolar came by her room and gazed down at her admiringly. \u201cMy, aren\u2019t you looking well. How are you feeling?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara\u2019s eyes didn\u2019t turn from the window, the strange sight of Cardassian military and scientists crossing the courtyard from time to time. There didn\u2019t seem to be a large number of people working here, and the number of patients even fewer. What had once been an immense Bajoran hospital, seemed now to be a research facility staffed almost entirely by Cardassians. She wondered if there were other Bajorans like her, other lab animals being treated humanely, but none-the-less without a choice in the matter. \u201cI do my best,\u201d Dr. Nolar said with a hint of smugness. \u201cHave you finished reading the materials?\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s wise,\u201d Nolar said, nodding as she stood over Eyara with eyes on the device she scanned her with. \u201cYour body is accepting the new implant well. You\u2019re nearly at normal liver function. When you\u2019re able to stand again, I\u2019d like to take you on a tour of our lab where these implants are constructed.\u201d \u201cI\u2019ve gained permission,\u201d Nolar replied. \u201cOf course we\u2019ll have an armed escort so don\u2019t get too excited about the chance to potentially cause damage.\u201d Eyara hesitated, weighing the cost of honesty, looking for a reason why lying would be safer, but Nolar already knew she came from a family of privilege, there would be no surprise in hearing that she\u2019d had access to medical journals and other reading material. Her parents had humored \u2013if not taken seriously\u2013 her sudden desire to learn about doctoring and other healing arts after her orb vision as a young child, but of course, she\u2019d only been 17 when she had to run away, so the actual schooling she\u2019d been able to receive was limited to what her parents and home tutor had thought appropriate. \u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019re very proficient as a field medic,\u201d Nolar said, genuinely, with no hint of sarcasm or demeaning. \u201cBut you\u2019ll be even better with a proper education of the entire soma.\u201d She offered Eyara a Cardassian padd that she\u2019d set down beside her. \u201cThis content may be somewhat rudimentary for you, but I’ll see that you also get more advanced materials.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara picked up the pad, and glanced at the list of contents. There were some texts which she recognized from her childhood reading, the books Elke had bought her when their parents had begun gently discouraging Eyara from pursuing medicine as more than a hobby. But there were other files here that she didn’t recognize, much of it related to Bajoran internal medicine\u2013 the sort of stuff that didn’t take priority on the battlefield. She itched to begin reading right away, but her instinct was to dampen her enthusiasm while Nolar was watching. Passion could be used against a person, after all. <\/p>\n\n\n\n She nodded stoically at the padd and laid it on her lap, meeting the doctor’s gaze with another dip of her chin, the closest to a thank you that she could bring herself to offer. \u201cHow long have you been studying Bajoran physiology?\u201d she wondered suddenly. Nolar didn’t seem very old, but it was hard to gauge age under all those scales. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSeveral years now,\u201d Nolar replied vaguely. \u201cThe similarities outweigh the differences, believe it or not. The equipment you\u2019re using was designed for the Cardassian body but only needed minor adjustments to be suitable for Bajorans.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara\u2019s face went stony with the memory of her sister\u2019s warnings when Ruuk had begun to pursue her, the stories of pregnant comfort women, the half-breed war orphans shunned by Bajorans and Cardassians alike for having the audacity to exist. Oh, she understood all too well the biological similarities between them, nevermind what they each looked like on the outside. In response, however, she only nodded again, as though thoughtful, and schooled her expression into something as neutral as she could make it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLucky for me, then, that your knowledge has transferred over so well.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLucky for you,\u201d Nolar agreed, the \u2018lucky for me too\u2019 going unvoiced. She stood. \u201cI believe your parents will be visiting you this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n All the composure slipped from Eyara\u2019s face in an instant, her mouth going dry and a pulse of emotion gripped her chest, rendering her voiceless for too long to casually play it off. \u201cToday?\u201d she croaked, cleared her throat, looked away, eyes darting to the middle distance. She didn\u2019t know what she was feeling\u2013 anger, fear, disgust, something bigger and more complex than any of those. She knew she was only alive because of their meddling, their status as part of the Bajoran Occupational Government. She owed them her life, but she resented them for it, hated that they would come here now, when she was weak and vulnerable, whatever their purpose was behind it. Maybe if things had been different, she would have looked forward to seeing the first up-close Bajoran faces since she\u2019d woken here. \u201cI didn\u2019t\u2026 expect to see them so soon,\u201d she added hastily, trying to salvage some semblance of cool indifference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYour recovery has been quite speedy,\u201d Nolar said in an agreeable tone. \u201cLet me know if you\u2019d like to discuss any of the topics in the literature. I\u2019d be happy to set aside the time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes,\u201d Eyara replied, distracted, suddenly feeling chilled. She couldn’t suppress the shiver that raised bumps across her arms and the back of her neck. \u201cI will be sure to let you know if there’s anything that warrants clarification.\u201d Eyara didn’t even notice the way thinking of her parents had triggered a shift in her speech to something more formal, less of the rough manner of speaking to which she had become accustomed among the Resistance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Nolar\u2019s eyes were nakedly curious as they raked over her, too observant an individual as a medical professional (and likely representative of some shady Cardassian Organization) for the change in Eyara to go unnoticed. \u201cLet us know if there\u2019s anything we can do for you, Miss Lanak,\u201d she said in a voice that was almost kind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t trust them,<\/em> Eyara wanted to say, but she wouldn\u2019t put herself in opposition to other Bajorans, not in front of a Cardassian, not even when it was her parents\u2013 the least trustworthy Bajorans she knew. There was a small, 5-year old part of her who wanted to believe they were coming to see her because they loved her and wanted to reassure her that everything was going to be okay. But the other, bigger part, the one that was born when she was twelve, when she learned what it was their parents had been training her for, what they already had her sister doing\u2013 that part of her balked at having to see them at all. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When Eyara said nothing, Nolar gave her a polite nod and left Eyara with her thoughts and the massive cache of reading material. <\/p>\n\n\n\n After that, time passed in a haze. Eyara tried to read, tried to plan, tried to think of what she would even say to the people who had ruined and then saved her life. But there was nothing she could focus on. Her thoughts jumped from one thing to another until she exhausted herself into thinking about nothing, doing nothing, and feeling nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was several hours later that a courteous chime came from the door before it opened and a Cardassian nurse that Eyara had grown familiar with poked her head in. No, but I don’t really have a choice do I? <\/em>A sudden urge came over her, to beg the nurse to stay, but she swallowed it back and set aside the medical journal she hadn’t been reading.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI’m ready,\u201d she lied. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The nurse gave her a smile and ducked out of the room. Her parents entered, and she laid eyes on them for the first time in almost six years. They seemed smaller than she remembered, though her growth spurt had occurred before leaving home. They also looked as polished and put together as ever\u2013 always on, always politicians. Her mother, petit and demure, dark hair in a braided updo, and a worried mouth that looked like Eyara\u2019s. Her father seemed paler, the freckles she\u2019d inherited standing out strong across his carefully neutral face. He stood straight as a board, as though trying to gain as much height as he could, nevermind that he was already taller than most. They were both beginning to go gray, her father\u2019s neat red beard salted with white.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara hadn\u2019t known what she would feel when she saw them, but now that they stood there, barely in the door, flanked by a nurse on one side and a security officer on the other, she was surprised to realize that she felt almost nothing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Upon seeing her, Eyara\u2019s mother\u2019s face lit up with agonized relief and she rushed forward with hands outstretched. Eyara lifted a hand on reflex, letting her take it once she realized she couldn\u2019t properly embrace her child, strapped to the chair as she was. \u201cHow are you feeling?\u201d her mother asked in a bleating, pleading voice. \u201cAre they treating you well here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI feel like a building fell on me,\u201d Eyara answered, truthful and blunt, uncomfortable with her mother’s show of concern. \u201cBut I’m as well cared for as any lab animal could hope to be. I assume you’ve been given the details.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThey did,\u201d her mother replied, eyes shining faintly with an unwelcome level of drama. \u201cBut they tell us when this is all over, you\u2019ll be able to live an entirely normal life! You\u2019re safe now with us, Eyara!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI’m not trying to stay safe!\u201d Eyara barked, almost startling herself with the way the words shot from her mouth, carried by resentment and embarrassment. \u201cI’m trying to save Bajorans! They’re dying, Mother. We\u2019re <\/em>dying.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gela\u2019s face was stricken with surprise and hurt but her father harumped from the corner at Eyara\u2019s outburst. Similarly, her father\u2019s face reddened. \u201cIf this had all been handled differently from the beginning, there wouldn\u2019t have been such a loss of life! We were fools to ever believe that we would be able to stand up to the Cardassians and if everything had been handled peacefully we wouldn\u2019t be in this position today — with you and your lot only fueling the fire!\u201d \u201cIt’s easy to be content with \u2018peace\u2019 when you’re safe in your privilege and have the luxury to turn away from the people who are being literally enslaved!\u201d Eyara shot back, sweat starting to bead on her brow. \u201cI stopped being able to pretend everything was fine when I learned what you had taught Elke to do, what you wanted me <\/em>to do!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe gave you the best life you could possibly have as a Bajoran,\u201d her father exploded, towering over her menacingly. \u201cYou’re nothing but ungrateful! We had to make sacrifices for that, you know!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The door opened and the Cardassian nurse rushed in with worry etched on her features. \u201cWhat’s happening here?\u201d she demanded as she hurried to the computer output that was blaring warnings about Eyara’s vitals. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI didn’t want that life!\u201d Eyara cried out, ignoring the nurse’s concern. Her hands clenched into tight fists at the arms of her chair, every cell in her body screaming to leave, to lash out, to get away. She was deaf to the alarms, only vaguely aware of the ache in her belly. \u201cI made my choice! I was helping Bajor, I was saving lives! I was willing to die for it! I\u2019ve loved people who did die. <\/em>What have you<\/em> sacrificed besides the innocence of your children?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEyara, please!\u201d her mother bleated, tears spilling down her cheeks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou’re going to have to leave!\u201d the nurse interrupted forcefully, shooing Eyara\u2019s parents toward the door, placing herself between them and her patient. Somehow the woman had the threatening stance of a bull preparing to charge. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou could have had anything, Eyara,\u201d her father shot back at her even as he edged toward the door. \u201cYou were given a good life! If we hadn\u2019t arranged your extraction, you would have thrown that life away in your useless Resistance!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara strained against the forcefield keeping her in place, face hot with anger and grief that even now, her parents still couldn\u2019t \u2013or wouldn\u2019t\u2013 see that what they\u2019d chosen was wrong, that the \u2018good life\u2019 they spoke of couldn\u2019t exist without stepping on the backs of other Bajorans, without denying the suffering they were subject to at the hands of the Cardassians. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Words of denial, of protest, leapt to her tongue, but then her father\u2019s words finished processing through the haze of emotion, and she felt a cold chill grip the back of her neck. She must have been minutes from death when the Cardassians dragged her from that rubble\u2013 there wouldn\u2019t have been time for word to reach her parents once the mission went south. Her father gave a cruel snort. \u201cYou think your Resistance is so infallible\u2026 but it was easy to plant the right information to ensure we would get you away from that misguided group.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara felt her blood run cold and her eyes grow hot. \u201cWhat?\u201d The word came out a whisper, when she wanted to scream. The guilt of the survivor which she’d quietly avoided dwelling on hit her like the column that had crushed her middle. She gripped the arms of her chair, grit her teeth against a sudden nausea. Was it possible that she wasn’t just a survivor by chance, but by design? Her parents\u2019 design? \u201cWhat\u2026 did you do<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe saved you from your own mistakes,\u201d her father replied scathingly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cH-how did you know where I would be?\u201d Eyara asked, needing confirmation of her fears, as much as she feared knowing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daltir shook his head. \u201cYour naivete has been your undoing, Eyara. You think it was difficult to feed false information into your Resistance?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara shivered with emotion, rage and guilt wrestling to win out over the other, stunning her into temporary silence as she stared into the smug face of her father. \u201cWe could have let you die too, Eyara,\u201d her father said with a chilling coldness. \u201cBut we trust that eventually you\u2019ll come to your senses and this mark on our family will come to an end.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou should<\/em> have let me die,\u201d Eyara countered, the heat of anger drained from her face, leaving her shaky and pale. She felt sick and her side ached. \u201cYou.. you put the blood of people I cared for on my hands. Good people who chose to fight for the freedom of all Bajorans. And you expect me to come home, tail between my legs, and\u2026 and do what? Tell all your collaborator friends I was wrong? Go back to \u2018entertaining\u2019 Cardassian generals so you can keep your wealth and status and security?\u201d \u201cYou could have a good life, Eyara,\u201d Gela finally spoke up again, tremulous, her face wet with tears. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The Cardassian nurse who oversaw this entire exchange looked decidedly worried, glancing between Eyara and the various machines behind her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI chose the life I wanted,\u201d was Eyara\u2019s answer, tired, defeated, caught in a conflict far less winnable than the one fought by the Resistance. \u201cMaybe you can\u2019t understand that. Maybe you just don\u2019t want to understand\u2013 but I don\u2019t want to live a life at the expense of others. I can\u2019t\u2026 I can\u2019t make that make sense. Ever since I was 5 years old, and I looked into that orb\u2013 I knew I wanted to help people, to keep what I saw from coming true. But I can\u2019t do that if I go down your path. That life wouldn\u2019t mean <\/em>anything.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n A faint sob escaped her mother, but her father remained stone faced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou have your recovery period to reconsider,\u201d he said coldly and with that, stepped out of the room. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Gela looked at Eyara imploringly, tears streaming down her cheeks. \u201cPlease come home, Eyara.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara\u2019s own eyes were wet now, red with emotion she couldn’t make her parents understand. Her father wanted power and her mother wanted comfort, and the path Eyara walked led away from both of those things for the sake of a better future for Bajor. She looked away, unable to meet her mother’s pleading stare any longer, unable to muster another word. What was there left to say?<\/p>\n\n\n\n After a moment, she heard Gela\u2019s hesitant footsteps as she left the room without another word, the door whispering shut behind her. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The nurse approached her bedside and asked gently, \u201cAre you alright, Miss Eyara? I\u2019d like to give you a small dose of enorazine to help your body with the strain of stress.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n A part of her wanted to reject the offer, to shout at the nurse to leave her be, to wallow in the suffering she now knew she had brought upon herself —and the others,<\/em> her guilt whispered– by acting on the bad information her parents had planted for her to find. It was tempting to turn her anger inward, to punish herself as thoroughly and painfully as she deserved. But the medic in her stayed her tongue. If she was going to be of any use to the Resistance after this, if she was ever going to write over this new red in her ledger, her body would have to heal first. Maybe her parents had put the blood on her hands, but she could still be of use to Bajor, couldn’t she? Her hands were bloody, but they could still patch up soldiers, they could still save lives, couldn’t they?<\/p>\n\n\n\n She squeezed her eyes shut, ignoring the tears that spilled free and nodded jerkily. \u201cDo it then,\u201d she choked out, hating how her voice wavered. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It only took a few taps on a screen for the drug to be administered intravenously and though Eyara\u2019s thoughts still spun, she felt her thundering heart rate begin to slow. <\/p>\n\n\n\n She didn\u2019t fight it, welcomed the medicated haze that fell over her brain like the comforting weight of a blanket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n Two days passed. There was no further contact from her parents. Mostly she was relieved. But a small part of her could quietly admit to being hurt, too. Even disappointed. She hadn\u2019t believed <\/em>they would change, but she had hoped they might. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In the afternoon, the door hushed open and Dr. Nolar entered the room. \u201cPain\u2019s at a 2,\u201d Eyara answered blandly, after a beat. She was watching the courtyard again, noticing which employees and officers were beginning to look familiar in their daily routines, their mundane-seeming comings and goings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s good to hear. I wondered if you might be interested in a stroll in the courtyard. Some sun would do you good.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara raised a brow just slightly, surprised, despite her emotions\u2019 valiant efforts to stay MIA. \u201cIs that allowed?\u201d She\u2019d assumed, or at least guessed, that her existence here was meant to stay under the radar. But then, perhaps anyone who worked here had already been deemed need-to-know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re simply a patient here,\u201d Nolar replied easily. \u201cIt seems as though you\u2019d be physically up to it. I wouldn\u2019t recommend trying to make an escape in a hover chair, though.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Though she was tempted to deny that the thought had occurred to her, Eyara only snorted softly, the mildest expression of the gallows humor she felt around the situation she\u2019d found herself in. Really, where was there to go? Even if she did escape? She didn\u2019t know if her parents were still in the city, or if they\u2019d gone home, and she wouldn\u2019t run to them anyway. Elke would welcome her, but she couldn\u2019t risk her sister\u2019s cover\u2013 her participation in the Resistance had, so far, gone unknown. Eyara was happy to take the heat, to claim her place as the sole criminal of the family, even if she\u2019d been a mediocre terrorist at best. Nolar gave a nod and gestured toward the door. It hissed open before them and Nolar led her into a wide, sterile hallway lined with similar doors. A standard Bajoran hospital. Lift doors opened for them. \u201cFine,\u201d Eyara answered. Truthfully, she\u2019d been doing nothing but reading for the last two days, finding it to be the only activity that could distract her from the turmoil in her chest, the painful wound with which guilt and grief had struck her. Some of the reading was dense and difficult, and she found she liked the challenge. Though Nolar hadn\u2019t, of course, offered her much in the way of Cardassian medical literature, she\u2019d given Eyara some basic reading on other species\u2013 humans, Vulcans, even Ferengi. These, she found fascinating, though she didn\u2019t suspect she would have any practical opportunity to put the information to use. At least, not here. Maybe one day, if the Resistance succeeded and the occupation ended, then Bajor might become part of the more peaceful galactic community. It was a nice thought. \u201cIs there more I can read about your work?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMuch of my work is classified,\u201d Nolar answered. The lift opened onto another hallway but Eyara sensed she was at ground level. \u201cThere may be a few of my early papers I could share with you. I\u2019ll take a look.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The hallway emptied into a large lobby with many other hallways branching in various directions. Most of the people they passed were Cardassian but there was the occasional Bajoran, mostly in patient\u2019s outfits like Eyara\u2019s. A wide glass door slid open before them and when they stepped out into the courtyard, sunlight streamed over Eyara\u2019s skin for the first time in weeks. The grounds were well-kept and attractive, the early summer day pleasant with a soft breeze. \u201cIf you\u2019re interested, I could provide you with some testing materials on the reading you\u2019ve been doing. If you\u2019d like to measure your retention.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara opened her eyes, but kept them on the courtyard. It was odd to realize that, despite having been appropriated from the Bajorans, some Cardassian must have taken it upon themselves to keep the plants here alive, groomed, cared for. There was little practical reason for it, and surely the military would consider such work a waste of time and resources, yet, none-the-less, someone had done it. It humanized her captors in a way that made Eyara suddenly uncomfortable. She had a complicated personal history with Cardassians, of course, but most of the resistance had no hesitation about seeing the occupying forces as a monolith of monsters, nor could she blame them. It was easier to kill monsters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAlright,\u201d she agreed, seeing no reason to turn down the offer. If there was a risk in showing herself to be too clever, she could always intentionally test more poorly.\u201dI could try.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt seems there’d be no harm, hm? Even poor test results further engrain the material. I did quite poorly in my first years of university. But I sense an aptitude in you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy did you <\/em>become a doctor?\u201d Eyara wondered, uncertain how to respond to Nolar\u2019s complimentary words, and thus opting to ignore them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAt first, because of the prestige,\u201d Nolar answered with surprising honesty. \u201cBut with education I became fascinated by the science, particularly cutting-edge technological advancement. I developed an expertise with peripheral medical devices all the way back in university.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAm I the first person you\u2019ve tested your models on?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo, my designs started out as Cardassian-only in nature, so most of my patients have been Cardassian. But I find xenobiology particularly interesting and I\u2019ve enjoyed branching out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo you volunteered for this posting?\u201d Eyara wondered. Maybe she was searching for a reason to hate the woman\u2013 she hadn\u2019t expected to meet a Cardassian doctor during her time in the resistance, and certainly not one who seemed so\u2026 normal. If they\u2019d met before Eyara had left home, before everything fell apart, it might have been easy to become friends with someone like her. It was unsettling. Why wasn\u2019t it easy to hate them all, like it seemed to be for her fellow liberationists? Collaborators, <\/em>Eyara thought instinctively, then felt her neck grow hot with shame. And what was she then? No, she knew that\u2019s what she was, what her whole family was. And all she could do was try to make up for it, to keep working toward bringing her–if not her family\u2019s– ledger back into the black. For all she knew, the other Bajorans working here were doing something similar, were looking for ways to improve the lives of their fellow Bajorans by taking advantage of the Cardassian\u2019s medical knowledge. It wasn\u2019t her place to judge or assume. She nodded idly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLots of military for just a teaching hospital,\u201d she noted, eyes darting toward a pair of officers in black armor, sporting familiar, wicked-looking phase-disrupter rifles. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Take it, Eyara. The rifle pressed into her hands. Cardassian blood still spattered the barrel. If they break through the line again, you\u2019ll need to protect yourself. Your patients.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Distantly she heard an acknowledging hum from Nolar. \u201cI\u2019ll admit, it\u2019s not an ideal learning environment. But the technology is cutting edge and some of Cardassia\u2019s most accomplished doctors are teaching here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut why?\u201d Eyara heard herself say. \u201cWhy are you here? Why couldn\u2019t you have just stayed on Cardassia?\u201d Her outward demeanor didn\u2019t change, but the words caught in her throat. She felt so helpless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nolar looked at her rather quizzically. She sat down as they passed a bench overlooking a patch of grass and flowers. \u201cIt was a good opportunity for me,\u201d she said, as if unaware of the gravity of her very presence on Bajor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNot you<\/em>,\u201d Eyara scoffed, half a sob she quickly swallowed, turned into a quiet growl. \u201cNot just <\/em>you,\u201d she amended, voice gravelly. \u201cEveryone. All<\/em> of you. Why did you have to come here<\/em> to Bajor to have your medical breakthroughs, to mine your ore, to play politics and war games. To make orphans.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nolar, nonplussed, puzzled over Eyara for a moment. \u201cI won’t be able to excuse what’s been done here nor do I condone everything that my people have done. I’m afraid I don’t have answers.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara huffed a humorless laugh and looked away, unfocused gaze on the manicured lawn that had once been a Bajoran’s responsibility to tend. \u201cIt should be simple. But it never is.\u201d A long pause stretched between them. Finally, Eyara spoke again. \u201cDid my parents go back to the Capitol?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI don\u2019t know honestly,\u201d Nolar answered. \u201cWe haven\u2019t heard from them. I did hear about what happened when they visited. Are there other family members that we can contact for you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara shook her head. The last thing she would risk was getting Elke involved. Not when her connection to the resistance had yet to be discovered. There was other family, distant cousins and such, but noone they were close to. They either held the same politics as her parents, or were ordinary people trying to live what lives they could. She didn\u2019t blame them for that. Not everyone was suited for the fight. You aren\u2019t either, rich girl. Too soft, too privileged. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo, there\u2019s noone.\u201d She just had to wait until she was well enough to live on her own. Then she could reach out to her contacts and figure out where she could go, how she could be of use again. \u201cBut there\u2019s war orphanages and half-way houses. There\u2019s places I can go.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell,\u201d Nolar began, \u201cBetween you and me, you can stay at the hospital essentially as long as you like. I can easily get the clearance for it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara didn\u2019t answer right away, but glanced over at the doctor for the first time since pausing here in the courtyard. Was it a gesture of kindness? Or only Nolar taking advantage of the opportunity to keep her latest project (and all the experimental tech inside her) close at hand? More importantly, did her motives even matter so long as Eyara herself could get something out of the arrangement? If she stayed long enough to heal fully, would Nolar come to trust her enough to give her access to better information? To the schematics of the organs themselves? To Cardassian biology? If not in written data, then perhaps in conversation? There was opportunity here, to learn more. To learn things that could help not just herself but the cause. \u201cWhat does it feel like?\u201d Nolar wondered, changing the subject. \u201cThe organs, I mean. Some of my patients swear they can feel the devices. I think it\u2019s a psychological effect.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara shrugged. \u201cMostly I don\u2019t feel them. So far. Everything\u2019s pretty numb on the right from here,\u201d she indicated with a flat palm just below one breast, \u201cTo here.\u201d She lowered her hand to the bend where thigh met hip. \u201cI suppose nerve repair is still slow and complex, even for Cardassian technology.\u201d \u201cI wonder if it\u2019s physiological or environmental,\u201d Eyara pondered, mentally taking note of this information. \u201cHave there been any notable changes or differences in the healing process here versus back on Cardassia? Perhaps something about Bajor itself is more conducive to cellular restoration.\u201d This much, of course, Eyara knew already. Whenever her parents had entertained Cardassian guests, they\u2019d always kept the environmental controls set to warmer temperatures than would be preferable to most Bajorans. Just one more way to make their occupiers more comfortable in a place they didn\u2019t truly belong. \u201cBajoran winters must be unpleasant for you,\u201d she observed. \u201cIf your planet is so warm.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cExtremely,\u201d Nolar replied conversationally. \u201cI usually go home during the winter months.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara nodded vaguely, suddenly struck by the oddness of their casual small talk. How could it be so easy to hate her parents and so complicated to hate Cardassians? The distant, muffled sound of explosions and the cries of the dying began to disturb the quiet of the garden as though in accusation of her conflict, and Eyara grew tense, fighting the urge to clap her hands over both ears. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMiss Lanak?\u201d There was no telling how many times the doctor had said her name before it registered. \u201cAre you feeling alright? Perhaps it\u2019s time to return to your room.\u201d The doctor looked at her with a moment of hesitation but eventually nodded. She sat down on the edge of a planter spilling over with fragrant flowers. A long moment of silence passed, the doctor taking a moment to close her eyes and lift her face to the sun appreciatively which somehow took years off the middle-aged Cardassian\u2019s face. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyara tried too, to close her eyes, but found the sounds grew louder, so instead she tried to focus on her surroundings, recalling grounding exercises that Parin had taught her. I can see the grass, the sky, the paving stones, the concrete benches, the doctor. I can feel the chair, the breeze, the warmth of the sun, the\u2026 the slick, hot blood on my palms. No! <\/em>Eyara\u2019s gaze flew down to her hands, dry and pale brown, un-stained. I can.. I can smell the soil. And\u2026 <\/em>she wrinkled her nose. I can smell sweat. My own sweat. I can hear footsteps. And the doctor\u2019s breathing. And\u2026 my own breathing. <\/em>She took a deeper breath then, as she became aware of it, exhaled slowly, remembering Parin\u2019s patient voice. \u201cBreathe out as slow and long as you can. Longer on the exhale. It helps ease the sympathetic nervous system.\u201d <\/em> Eyara breathed a small sigh of relief, dipped her chin into a nod of acknowledgement. At least Parin\u2019s earring wasn\u2019t lost in the rubble of her failure. As little thought as she gave the prophets on a day to day basis, without the weight of the jewelry, she felt unbalanced. It would be a comfort to have it back. \u201cOf course. That should have been taken care of. Overall has the staff been treating you well, Miss Lanak?\u201d \u201cKotri?\u201d Nolar repeated with a bit of surprise. \u201cVery well. Miss Kotri then? Of course.\u201d She gave a sympathetic sigh. \u201cI\u2019m sorry about your family. I don\u2019t know what you\u2019ve been through but It\u2019s very unfortunate to not connect with those who are meant to protect you.\u201d The doctor nodded but didn\u2019t press the issue and lapsed into silence, scanning her padd. It was another good twenty minutes before she finally apologized that she had an appointment to get to but would see that the nursing staff gave Eyara opportunities to go outside since her recovery was going well. Time slowed to a crawl. It was two months in when Dr. Nolar deemed her strong enough to be able to have a tour of the organ production facility where she donned protective gear to be able to witness the smocked and masked professionals as they oversaw the intricate process. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat do you think?\u201d Nolar asked proudly at the end of the tour. Eyara considered her words, ever cautious about how truthful to be around the woman, as much as she\u2019d come to believe Nolar sincere, if still somewhat ignorant and certainly privileged. Still, one thing that hadn\u2019t changed was Kotri\u2019s determination to be as much the master of her own body as possible. She needed to know about her own prosthetics and how to care for them. She needed to know she could be self-sufficient away from the facility and Nolar. Nolar beamed at her, but Eyara could never quite shake the feeling that, to the doctor, she was just the smartest primate in the test facility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was a morning like any other, another full month later, when everything changed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Kotri was finishing breakfast in the room she\u2019d occupied for over three months when the door rang and Doctor Nolar entered. Kotri could tell right away that something was going on — the doctor generally had a very easy-going air in spite of her often packed schedule. This morning she was hurried, even slightly disheveled. \u201cWhat\u2013\u201d she started, voice cracking, then began again. \u201cWhat happened? Why is the military withdrawing? Wh-when?\u201d During her stay here in the hospital facility she\u2019d naturally had limited access to outside news, but she never thought she would be missing something so big as this<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cUnfortunately at my level I don\u2019t have that sort of information,\u201d Nolar said apologetically. \u201cBut the military has already begun its retreat. Cardassian citizens like myself are advised to leave immediately. Miss Kotri– I know our relationship is complicated and unusual. But don\u2019t hesitate to contact me on Cardassia Prime if you ever need help with your medical devices.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cImmediately <\/em>immediately?\u201d Kotri echoed, beyond shocked. \u201cAs in today?\u201d She couldn’t even respond to the offer, the invitation, as much trouble as she was having wrapping her mind around this enormous shift in her reality. In Bajor\u2019s <\/em>reality. While Nolar was gone, Kotri prepared. Her panic and fear and even her joy at the apparent end of the Cardassian occupation\u2013 all of that she wrapped up neatly and set aside for later. Now, she had to focus on surviving. She had very few items belonging to her, even after 3 months of stay, but she replicated a bag, some clothes and boots, simple basics that she was allowed to access. She added ration bars and a canteen, and frowned when her attempts to replicate or access even a simple first aid kit were met with failure. She found a handful of hypospray vials\u2013 the formulations required to supplement her body\u2019s new limitations, and packed those, though she\u2019d have to beg or scavenge the hypospray elsewhere. She took the padd she\u2019d been reading on, though leaving the boundaries of the hospital would no doubt lose her access to the medical journals and other reading material if Nolar was unable to procure the data rods for her. After a moment of waiting, a thin man with unkempt brown hair appeared on the screen and looked at her unknowingly. \u201cYes? Can I help you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cKotri Ezit?\u201d she confirmed, managing somehow to keep the tremor from her voice. She watched as surprise and a bit of sorrow passed over Ezit\u2019s face. \u201cOh, I see. Yes\u2026 My sister and I were quite close. She\u2019s missed. And you are\u2026?\u201d Another wave of surprise and recognition appeared on Ezit\u2019s features as his eyes focused on the earring. \u201cAh, I see\u2026 Honestly, Parin and I haven\u2019t communicated much in recent years, unfortunately. She was concerned about her activities putting me in danger. She didn\u2019t mention you but if she left you her earring, she must have considered you family. What can I do for you Eyara?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kotri swallowed, nodded, took a breath. \u201cThe truth is, I\u2013 I need somewhere to stay. Just\u2013 just until I can find my sister. I\u2019ve been in a Cardassian hospital and everyone\u2019s pulling out suddenly\u2013 I guess you\u2019ve probably heard. I\u2026wouldn\u2019t ask if I had anywhere else to go on such short notice.\u201d Her words spilled quickly, anxiously, from dry lips and she couldn\u2019t quite bring herself to meet Ezit\u2019s eyes through the view screen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ezit listened quietly with a faint, contemplative frown. \u201cI see. It sounds like you\u2019ve been through quite a bit. Yes, the news is everywhere about the withdrawal\u2026 The Cardassians are trying to pass it off as the decision being to no longer waste their efforts\u2026 but we all know that they haven\u2019t been able to keep up with the Resistance attacks for months. Anyway, Eyara\u2026 My home is modest but I do have a room you could stay in to transition. Right now especially is a time for us to support one another, right? I\u2019m sure it\u2019s what my sister would have wanted.\u201d The man nodded and gave her an encouraging smile. \u201cAs do I. I can finally hear about Parin’s exploits. Try to stay in touch as you travel, I could meet you at least part way. Be safe.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI will, and I\u2019ll try to contact you again along the way.\u201d The smile she gave him was one of relief and gratitude. She finally began to feel some of the muscles of her shoulders unknot, just a little bit. She had a place to go, a first step. She could worry about the rest of it later. \u201cThank you again.\u201d When the screen blinked back to black, Kotri took another deep, steading breath and stood again. She returned to her bag, and began to look around the room for anything else she could scavenge. With some elbow grease and a makeshift pry bar, she was able to procure an previously inaccessible emergency kit tucked into the wall and retrieved a dermal regenerator and a few basic hyposprays with things like pain control and antibiotics. <\/p>\n\n\n\n By the time Nolar returned, she had a pack ready to go. The doctor handed her a stack of three padds. Her face was lined with an unusual anxiety, but she paused to catch Kotri\u2019s eye and say, \u201cThis is as much as I could obtain copies of discretely. With your intelligence it should be enough to get you by. As I said, if there is a crisis you\u2019ll be able to find me on Cardassia prime. And\u2026 even if there\u2019s not a crisis, it would be nice to hear from you someday, Miss Kotri. Not just because of the organs you\u2019re carrying. I\u2019d like to know where your story takes you.\u201d A smile twitched across the woman\u2019s stressed features and she gave a quiet huff of laughter. \u201cGood luck to you as well, Miss Kotri. I think you\u2019ll do great things.\u201d She gave a final nod and then she was gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Everything felt different, even the hospital itself. Outside, the courtyard was vacant where it would have once been filled with milling Bajorans and Cardassians. Inside, the hospital felt quiet and abandoned when she stepped out into the hallway. No one was at the nurses\u2019 station. A few people hurried through the lobby, ignoring Kotri entirely on their own important routes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Beyond the wide glass doors of the lobby was a world entirely new to Kotri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She had a direction in mind, and with a little luck, enough supplies to get her there. It wasn\u2019t the first time she\u2019d suddenly found herself alone, staring down an uncertain future, and she didn\u2019t expect it to be the last. But she\u2019d lived through worse, with less help and fewer resources. She could do this. 2369 When consciousness finally fluttered close enough to grab hold of, Eyara’s eyes opened long enough to recognize that she had, against all odds, somehow evaded death one more time. The warm, sand-colored ceiling, the hint of an arched doorframe nearby, the soft geometry of Bajoran architecture soothed her, and she took a short, shuddering … Read moreOrigin of Kotri’s Organs<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dustyjack.com\/STARTREKRND\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/878"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dustyjack.com\/STARTREKRND\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dustyjack.com\/STARTREKRND\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dustyjack.com\/STARTREKRND\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dustyjack.com\/STARTREKRND\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=878"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.dustyjack.com\/STARTREKRND\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/878\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":879,"href":"https:\/\/www.dustyjack.com\/STARTREKRND\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/878\/revisions\/879"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dustyjack.com\/STARTREKRND\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=878"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\u201cMost likely dead, I would imagine,\u201d came a cold, distracted reply. \u201cIt was only your parents\u2019 position that allowed you to be saved. I\u2019ll have them alerted that you\u2019re awake. Now, if you please, what is your pain level? Certain things still can\u2019t be derived from instruments.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A familiar bitter rage knotted in her stomach and she swallowed hard, her initial thoughts pushed aside by a new wave of guilt. The others\u2026 her team<\/em>. Dead. Maybe the Cardassian was lying to get under her skin. Maybe they\u2019d gotten out. But even as she tried to silently bargain for a better outcome, Eyara knew, more likely than not, they were<\/em> gone. The explosions should have killed her\u2013 how likely was it that anyone else had been so lucky. Angry tears shone at the corners of her eyes, and she grit her teeth against the emotion she couldn\u2019t fully hide.
\u201cWhy didn\u2019t they just let me die?\u201d Eyara grit out, not a death wish, but genuine confusion. Wouldn\u2019t it have fit their narrative so neatly? What did they want from her? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd if I survive your experiments?\u201d Eyara asked, not bothering to hide the bitter taste in her words. \u201cWhat happens then?\u201d She itched to escape this bed, this building, to go back to what she was supposed to be doing\u2013 keeping the members of her cell alive. If there were any of them left. And if not, then moving on, and helping wherever she could. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She closed her eyes then, frustration and resignation tight in her chest. \u201cA six,\u201d she said, when a long beat had gone by without the Cardassian speaking. \u201cIf your Cardassian pain scale is one to ten, then it\u2019s a six. And I\u2019m thirsty.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCompetent enough to keep my cell on its feet,\u201d she answered, summoning up her pride, ignoring the voice that whispered until this mission.<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bed hovered smoothly forward and the door whispered open as Eyara was pushed into the hallways. Soon she was staring up at the ceiling and lights of a shiningly clean operating room. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPain level is a 3. It\u2019s fine. Nice to be able to sit up, anyway. I\u2019m sure your superiors are very impressed with your work.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes, though I decided to read through it again.\u201d This was in part because she hardly had anything else to do, but additionally, though she didn\u2019t admit it outloud, the reading was dense and the science complicated. Emergency field medicine had little in common with this kind of time-consuming and precision work, but Eyara was determined not to let the doctor sense that she was out of her depth. She would learn this, no matter how many times she had to read the files. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This surprised Eyara, and she tore her gaze away from the window to search Nolar\u2019s impassive face. \u201cYour supervisors would allow such a thing?\u201d she wondered, skeptical but curious. She didn\u2019t know what all she might learn on such a tour, but if there was a chance that information could be useful to the Resistance, then she intended to learn as much as possible. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI wouldn\u2019t dream of it,\u201d Eyara shot back, a stiff grin on her face. Let Nolar think she was only looking for escape or sabotage. She would be watching, absorbing, learning all she could, both for her own benefit and for her peoples\u2019. Besides, she rather suspected that even if she were to get into trouble, the doctor would hesitate to allow harm to come to her\u2013 not when Eyara was chock full of the woman\u2019s life work.
Nolar startled Eyara by sitting down in the window seat, crossing her legs and folding scaled hands on her knee. \u201cDo you mind if I ask, Miss Lanak, in your experience, have you had much access to proper medical texts? I ask because I could make more reading material available to you while you\u2019re here. With the speed that you went through my materials, I\u2019m sure you could absorb a great deal of new information.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI left home young, so most of my medical knowledge has been gained on the battlefield. Hands-on medicine, you know.\u201d She met Nolar\u2019s eyes. She wanted to learn, but she wouldn\u2019t let either of them forget the context in which she had ended up here. \u201cNot much access to textbooks the last few years. Wouldn\u2019t say no to your offer, though. Seeing as how I\u2019m needing less sleep and finding myself with more free time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMiss Lanak, your parents are here to see you. Are you feeling up to some visitors?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, Eyara! Thank the Prophets you survived!\u201d
Her father lingered stoically closer to the door, looking over Eyara\u2019s hover chair and the medical devices that filled the room.
\u201cHello, Father. Mother.\u201d
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe\u2019re dying because<\/em> of the Resistance,\u201d Daltir finally spoke up, stepping further into the room. \u201cYour little movement is doing nothing more than throwing away Bajoran lives.\u201d
Eyara\u2019s eyes flashed, and her face warmed with protest. Leave it to her father to throw accusations first without even half a hello. Her mother may have been performative, but her father was downright incendiary. Unfortunately or not, her temper was inherited from him. \u201cThe puppets you call our government<\/em> are throwing away Bajoran lives by literally signing them over to Cardassian labor camps. They turn away while invaders steal land and homes and resources\u2013 they bow politely while Cardassians enslave and murder us! You might be willing to lie to yourselves, but don\u2019t expect me to believe you\u2019re worried about any Bajoran lives besides your own!\u201d
A nearby machine began to beep a warning as Eyara\u2019s pulse climbed and her chest heaved with angry breath.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Gela shrank away, small and frightened. \u201cOh, please don\u2019t,\u201d she begged both of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWait!\u201d she cried out to the nurse, who was doing her best to herd her father out the door. Her eyes fell on his red face, searching it for truth. \u201cHow.. did you know we were there?\u201d she rasped, what was left of her stomach flipping over. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow could you?\u201d she finally choked out. \u201cPeople died<\/em>. Thirteen people died so that you could\u2026 what? Teach me a lesson?? Don\u2019t you see how monstrous that is?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even now, her parents still couldn\u2019t \u2013or wouldn\u2019t\u2013 see that what they\u2019d chosen, what they were still choosing, was wrong, that the \u2018good life\u2019 they\u2019d spoken of couldn\u2019t exist without stepping on the backs of other Bajorans, without denying \u2013without profiting <\/em>from\u2013 the suffering their people were subject to at the hands of the Cardassians.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGood afternoon. Your vitals have been quite stable. How are you feeling?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAlright,\u201d she finally said, glancing sideways at Nolar. \u201cIf you show me all the exits, I promise not to use them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow has your reading been going?\u201d Nolar queried. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She took a breath, and then another, slower, taking her time, letting her eyes close briefly, savoring it. She hadn\u2019t realized how she missed the sun, as used as she was to being cooped up in some bunker or hideaway, in caves, even an asteroid once or twice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Blood on her hands, the smell of it in her nostrils, the Cardassian\u2019s face, twisted in confusion and rage as he slumped against her, the weight of his corpse pinning her against the wall of the makeshift med bay. A drink shoved into her shaking hands later that night, comrades celebrating her kill. Throwing it up. Sick at what she\u2019d done. The others laughing jovially. Eyara can\u2019t hold her alcohol. But she could hold back her tears, and she did. She was good at that.<\/em>
<\/em>
<\/em>Eyara blinked, shaking herself from the memory, dimly realizing Nolar had spoken.
\u201cSorry, what?\u201d
\u201cI said yes,\u201d Nolar repeated easily. \u201cI was interested in expanding my skills in xenobiology. This is a teaching hospital, you know. There are Cardassian and Bajoran medical students here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell. Maybe for now,\u201d she finally replied, her hesitance genuine. \u201cAt least until these things you put in me don\u2019t need so much constant monitoring.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMm,\u201d Nolar agreed. \u201cIt\u2019s one of the most challenging hurdles. Bajorans generally recover faster than Cardassians. Your wounds heal faster and your skin is less prone to scarring.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat an interesting hypothesis,\u201d Nolar said with a rare smile. \u201cIf anything, recovery is easier for us on our homeworld. Bajor is beautiful but Cardassia\u2019s habitable regions are hotter and drier, which we\u2019re more adapted to.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d Eyara insisted through grit teeth, shaking her head as though to chase the hallucinations away. She knew that\u2019s all they were\u2013 it wasn\u2019t uncommon, after all, to come across shell-shocked Bajorans. She\u2019d done her best to ease their discomfort with sedatives, even herbs. She knew the best things to smoke and to eat for such conditions, but hadn\u2019t expected the intense vulnerability that came along with being on the patient side of the equation. She found she didn\u2019t want<\/em> Nolar to see her like this, and on top of that she didn\u2019t want to share her knowledge of Bajoran remedies with a Cardassion\u2013 even someone non-military like the doctor. \u201cI want to stay outside. Please.\u201d The words tasted ashy, and she could almost smell the dust and smoke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eyara\u2019s heart ached to think of the woman who had trained her, looked out for her, loved her even maybe. But her heart rate had begun to slow, and the shouts and explosions were more and more distant. She reached up to touch her naked ear.
\u201cI don\u2019t suppose you know if they retrieved my earring?\u201d she asked, finally breaking the silence after a handful of minutes had passed.
\u201cOh, yes, I recall it being removed during your first trauma surgery. I\u2019m sorry that it hasn\u2019t yet been returned to you. I\u2019ll see to that right away.\u201d She looked away from the basking sun to the Cardassian padd she carried, evidently immediately sending a message to someone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThank you.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPlease. Call me Kotri.\u201d She had already claimed Parin\u2019s earring. She might as well take her name. \u201cI no longer wish to hear nor claim the name of my parents.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kotri Eyara didn\u2019t answer for a breath or two, and she wasn\u2019t sure she would be able. \u201cThank you,\u201d she finally managed, licking dry lips and swallowing with a dry throat. \u201cYou\u2019re right, it is unfortunate, and no, you don\u2019t know what I\u2019ve been through.\u201d
Nolar just hummed in acknowledgement and let a long moment of silence stretch between them. Finally she said, \u201cYou know, if you\u2019d like to talk to someone while you\u2019re here I can arrange that. Mental health is part of the somatic recovery.\u201d
Eyara immediately, instinctively screwed her face into an expression of distaste. But her visage softened quickly after with a heavy sigh. She knew Nolar spoke truth. It was the same thing she\u2019d been taught. \u201cI\u2019ll\u2026 consider it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eyara could think of nothing else to say, and thanking the woman twice in one day seemed just too much. So she only nodded and let Nolar guide her chair back to her room.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The days went on and on, much the same. Nolar was good to her word and arranged for walks in the gardens once a day, which seemed perhaps to speed Kotri\u2019s recovery. She spent the rest of her time reading, watching, absorbing as much information as she could, about her surroundings, about the other people here, and about Cardassians in general. Her medical studies took up much of her attention, and she participated in testing as suggested, though she didn\u2019t do quite as well as she knew she could, reluctant to draw too much of Nolar\u2019s attention by proving to be more exceptional than average. Slowly, she regained more of her movement, though it was weeks longer before Kotri was allowed to stand, let alone walk, and even then, only for short spurts.
She grew more and more restless, itching to leave, itching to reach out, wanting to rejoin the Resistance, but now too, afraid to do so. Afraid to face those who might know of the mission she\u2019d failed, of the people she\u2019d gotten killed. But they were idle fears, because she could do nothing in the moment but wait. Wait and watch, and learn as much as she could in the time she had been given\u2013 the time she\u2019d paid for with her people\u2019s blood. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI think\u2026 that it\u2019s impressive,\u201d Kotri confessed. She was walking more regularly now, though the chair hovered nearby for when she inevitably got winded. For now, she stayed on her feet, following Nolar at a politely slow pace. \u201cI hope that more Bajorans will benefit from your developments in the future.\u201d I hope we aren\u2019t just the lab animals for advancements that will be taken back to Cardassia and never shared.<\/em>
<\/em>
<\/em>\u201cIt may be hard to believe but I honestly hope that as well, Miss Kotri. By the way, how have you been feeling about your studies? Now that you\u2019ve got a level of essentially collegiate education you could specialize your efforts.\u201d There was little doubt in Eyara\u2019s mind at this point that Nolar had a particular interest in her, in spite of her efforts to stay under the Cardassian\u2019s radar. Though she tried to come off as mediocre, Nolar encouraged her as though she were family. The woman was obviously busy but over the three months she\u2019d been there, she went out of her way to visit Kotri frequently, taking time to talk to her about medicine and Kotri\u2019s personal experiences as a medic, offering to quiz her before she planned to utilize the testing materials. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI confess\u2026 my curiosity about the medicine of artificial organ and limb replacement has yet to diminish.\u201d Eyara glanced aside at the doctor. \u201cThere are so many people touched by the fallout of the occupation that these technologies could help. I think I\u2019d like to help make that happen.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGood morning, Miss Kotri,\u201d she said and went on right away, \u201cI have some important news. We just received the word that Cardassia will be withdrawing from the Bajoran system. I didn\u2019t want to leave without saying goodbye to you.\u201d
Kotri\u2019s stomach dropped, and her skin prickled with the onslaught of startled emotion. How had she not seen this coming? Had this been planned for a while and they\u2019d simply kept it from her, or was it as sudden for them as for her? She opened her mouth to speak, then found her thoughts too much a jumble to pick one thread from among them. She should be happy, of course, elated even. This is what the Resistance had been fighting for for decades. But a renewed wave of guilt washed over her at the same time. She had been sitting here all this time, with the hope and idea that whatever she learned would be useful to the Resistance, that she\u2019d be able to leave and find a new cell, make herself useful again. Was there even a Resistance anymore? Just what<\/em> had happened?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nolar nodded seriously. \u201cToday. I\u2019m honestly not sure what will happen with this hospital. Most of the Bajoran staff are fleeing for fear of retribution. You\u2019d be best off finding new housings, I believe.\u201d
\u201cI\u2013\u201d Kotri began, then realized she had no idea what there was to say. Her world had been, once again, tilted on its axis, and her figurative footing now matched her literal footing\u2013 shaky and unstable. She started to think, started to go down the list of people she might be able to reach out to, couches she might be able to crash on. She couldn\u2019t conceive of returning to her parents\u2019– she\u2019d rather sleep on the streets again than go back to them. She might be able to contact Elke, but last she had heard from her sister, she was still a continent away, inaccessible without transportation. There was no telling which of her fellow Resistance fighters were still alive, and many of them had been on a first names only basis for the safety of themselves and their families. Parin had had a brother\u2026 she\u2019d never met him\u2013 he was a civilian, a… a grocer, maybe, Kotri thought. The city he\u2019d last lived in wasn\u2019t nearby, but at least there wasn\u2019t an ocean between here and there.
\u201cCan.. can you get me access to communications?\u201d she asked. \u201cAnd\u2026 how much information\u2013 about my organs and, and anything else that could help me\u2013 how much can you give me? Data rods, a padd, anything? Please, Nolar, anything you can do for me right now is the best way you can ensure you\u2019ll ever see your work again under better circumstances.\u201d She gestured at her torso, pressed a palm against her abdomen.
Nolar hesitated for a moment, taut and thoughtful. \u201cYes. Communications is easy. The console in this very room should be activated by now. The information\u2026 give me twenty minutes. I\u2019ll see what I can do.\u201d With that, she hurried out of the room. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ten minutes later she sat at the console, unable to put it off any longer, and attempted to access local communications. She queried the computer, somewhat trepidatiously, on the possibility of contacting Parin\u2019s brother, Kotri Ezit.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes, this is Ezit.\u201d
\u201cYou don\u2019t know me, but I\u2013 I knew your sister. She\u2013 spoke fondly of you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMy name is Eyara. I don\u2019t\u2026 know how much you were in contact with her or if she ever had a chance to mention me\u2013 we were\u2026 understandably cautious about sharing names.\u201d She reached up and touched Parin\u2019s earring nervously. If she had to, she\u2019d trade it back to him, but she selfishly hoped she would be able to keep it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Relief washed over her so quickly, it made her feel light-headed. But she managed another breath. \u201cThank you\u2013 thank you so much. I\u2019m in your debt.\u201d She bowed her head and let her hand fall from the earring. The dangling chain brushed comfortingly against her earlobe. \u201cI\u2019m not likely to be able to get my hands on a functioning vehicle, so it may take me a few days to reach you. But I will arrive as soon as I can. I\u2013 look forward to trading stories.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kotri took the stack of padds, and tucked them securely into her bag, hefting it over one shoulder. She reached out a hand then, and took the doctor\u2019s wrist with a quick squeeze and a nod. \u201cThank you for this. And these.\u201d She let go of Nolar and touched her own stomach with a wry smirk. Even though half her organs were artificial now, she still felt the fluttery sensation of anxiety and adrenaline. \u201cIf you\u2019re as clever as everyone here says you are, I\u2019m sure I\u2019ll do alright. And if my story takes me somewhere interesting, you can bet you\u2019ll hear about it. Good luck, Doctor. For a Cardassion, you didn\u2019t suck.\u201d She shot a grin at Nolar. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kotri took one last, deep breath as a patient, a captive Resistance medic and took her first step out of the hospital as a free Bajoran. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"